My name is Toni, nearly 24, and 4ft 9in of raw ambition. My plate is full and my cup runs over! First and foremost, I am a mother if you asked those that have always known me they will tell you that has always been the case, God has given me a beautiful, sweet, expressive little boy who is about to turn 4. I am also a college student, studying in Theatre and minoring in English. My goal is to one day be a costume designer for film or the stage and perhaps write a novel. Alongside me is the wonderful man I’m engaged to who supports, loves and encourages my endeavors. This is an invitation to follow my misadventures and journey of personal growth.
First, I would like to let you all in on a little secret, I am a relatively private person. Growing up, I was never the wild child or the risk taker. Caution was my middle name, but one step at a time I am striving to break the mold that I have made for myself. You see, my fatal flaw is caring too deeply what others see in me. Because of this I would refuse to see my own worth for what it is. This kind of thinking is toxic and will destroy everything that makes a person different or unique. These words are a perfect picture to represent my life. Be it my family, relationships or even just myself as a whole and you know what? That is beautiful.
So, why “make the jump”? Last spring break I had the opportunity to go to Fort Lauderdale, Florida for a theatre convention. This is where I realized what all I wanted from my life. Now,the story seems silly but I will tell it non-the-less. This was one of the only times the whole group of theatre majors were together and we went to the beach to kill some time. Time for another secret- I am TERRIFIED of the water. So, here I am on the shore watching all of my friends in the water splashing and having a great time. I have the thought “what am I doing? I can’t live my whole life watching others accomplish their dreams and have fun. I will go insane, and what would that show Jamey?” So you know what I did? I jumped, FULLY CLOTHED into the ocean in a WHITE romper! I tell that whole story to say, If something makes you a little uncomfortable- good. That feeling is a change about to start.
Making that jump was just the first of many. In the fall I am going to be interning at Disney World, pursuing my passion in costumes. I can’t say where that will lead, that is in the hands of a higher power. However, I know I will continue to push myself and grow. I implore anyone who has dreams and desires to pursue them. Even if you are scared, stand up and make the most of this life. Whether that means jumping in the ocean, starting a blog, or applying for that job you REALLY want. Take a breath, and jump.